Odds and Ends....
The following may be of interest.
Some of the "tales" here in brief are banal, comical, and in many cases odd to say the least! Please note I cannot always vouch for the accuracy of some of the things said here but they may be of interest..R Searle
1 The Human Chicken?
On occasions I used to see in Slough a man making clucking sounds like a chicken! When he tried to engage people in talk he spoke nonsense.
2 Bible Mania
Once I used to know a Bible basher. He believed in every word in the Bible. In other words, he was a literalist. I used to call him Old Nick (an old expression meaning the devil, and Nick short for Nicholas which was his real name), and he was able to see the funny side of that. However, he became too much, and our friendship soon ended.
3 A Tragic Chap
There was a chap who lived near me in a special home. We will simply call him M. He had what appeared to be a severe form of autism, and would repeat himself again, and again. His life was tragically marred because just over three decades ago his mother killed his father when he was young. He would often ask me, and other people this very sad question "Where is the past? Has it gone?" I would try, and reassure him that the past is the past, and indicated that his tragic early experience would not re-occur.
4 The TV
In Slough there was a TV or Transvestite. When I talked to him he seemed to be very bright, and claimed that he used to have a very responsible job (apparently an air traffic controller!). I was informed by someone that the female clothes he wore actually belonged to his deceased wife...which was very sad to hear if true.
5 To Do a Trotsky
At Serena Hall I used to know someone who had a hatred towards Polish people living in Slough. He threatened them at times with violence, and was even attacked on the rare occasion. He was reported to the police on numerous occasions . He even threatened to do a Trotsky on Polish people. I tried vainly to change him..and sometimes I even teased him! For instance, he said he was going to work as a volunteer in the Gardens of Remembrance in Stoke Poges. I smiled and asked him what existed opposite. He did not know, and then I said the Polish Club of Slough. He laughed at this as he did to similiar jokes of this kind. He seemed to see the stupid and silly side of his racism but sadly he did not change. Recently though, I saw him again after many years and there was no mention of the Polish people..thank God for that!
6 The Spitters
I once became a regular victim of two children who spat at my face!! This also happened to my friend Chris. It was a disgusting thing to do to anyone. At one point, I even nearly caught one of the children...but after that the whole "phenomenon" simply stopped thankfully.
7 The Bicycle Thief
Sometimes in Slough I would see D who had a mental age of a 11 year old. On occasion he had a large pair of metal cutters...he was a bicycle thief by trade! Apparently, he built up a large collection of bikes in his back garden which ofcourse attracted interest from the police...!
8 Farting Sounds........
9 Attempted Murder...
I used to go to a café opposite the old Slough Library. Sometimes a known prostitute would enter, and tried to engage me in talk. I warned her that she was dotty to walk the streets at night as she would be vulnerable to assault. Tragically I was right. She nearly died infact..in an attempted murder. Her sister (a decent woman) told me her jaw had been turned to one side, and was replaced with a new one! Horrific! She also had nightmares of the assault..Yet, in spite of all this she returned to "the game".... to help fund her drug habit ofcourse..madness...
10 Three Exposures!
One night near Serena Hall a woman undid her long coat, and exposed herself! I could not believe it..! I also recognized her, and noted a can of alcohol was sticking out of her pocket. She left little to the imagination, and I said to her that she need not do this as she could get any man she liked as she was very attractive woman. This pleased her, and she buttoned herself up..
Once in Serena Hall there was a large black lady seated with a load of men around her. As she crossed her legs she revealed her private area, and if I recall correctly she did it again. However, someone in the room an Italian said that she should keep her dress down, and it transpired that she wanted to find a man. What a weird way of doing things!! It takes all sorts to make a world...!
11 Instant Identification...
When I was living in King Edward's Street in Slough I had a surprise of sorts! Just as I was leaving digs I noted a Policeman coming up the pavement. He said "Hello, Robert!!" I could not understand this, but it transpired that he had known me back at the old Royal Free School on Bachelor's Acre, Windsor. This was over twenty years ago, or so. I could not recall him at all until a little later. I did not really know him well when I was at school...but there we are. He clearly had a good memory for a policeman, and good luck with his career. Admitedly, I did see him again on a few other occasions whilst in Windsor, but I think he may have moved out of the area altogether.
12 Extorsion..
On rare occasions, people of Irish origin would say that they had done some work for me at such, and such an address. I said this was totally false, and I did not know them from Adam. However, the penny dropped as to what this really was all about in Chalvey. A man in a big van stopped by me walking on the pavement, and said rather loudly that he had worked at my address.....and that I owed him money, and repeated his claim...Then, he started to get aggressive. This was a frightful situation, but I stood my ground, and insisted that he was lying. In other words, he was trying to extort money from me under false pretences, and was hoping I would cave in and pay him off for nothing..........I presume such extorsion has worked in some rare case especially with older people...but what an audacious crime !!
13 An Unpleasant Surprise...
Quite a while ago I entered the mall in Slough, and saw someone I knew slowly climbing up the steps. I smiled in recognition..and suddenly, realized that he was looking at me in a negative fashion for no obvious reason. He then said to me.."I do not know you..!" This took me aback, and then, it suddenly occurred to me. He had a stroke. He seemed different from the person I used to know. I tested his memory in a number of ways, and my suspicions were confirmed. I explained to him that he had a stroke, and should seek medical attention. He died a few days later in Chalvey. Apparently, the official cause was not a stroke but exposure due to cold weather.
14 A Tug of War!
One very hot summer afternoon I was resting my gluteus maximus on a public seat nearly opposite Slough police station. A rather thin woman (due to illegal drug intake) joined me, and started to chat with me. I recognized her as a prostitute who used to go to the old Serena Hall, or day centre for vulnerable, and homeless people. She was trying to come onto me by touching me, but I resisted her advances as I was not interested. Realizing this, she suddenly made a grab for my large shoulder bag thinking that there must be some money in it, and possibly other "valuable" items. I tried to get it off her, and I had one strap to the bag, and she the other. What followed was a "comical" tug of war along the pavement, and across the street. I shouted to her that it was my bag and not hers. She insisted it was hers! Things came to ahead when I managed to flag down a policeman, and he searched inside the bag, and agreed that it was my bag. Yet, she kept on claiming it was hers...until she gave up!! Slough is full of it!
15 A "Crazy" Indian Woman
On occasion in the library I see, or rather try not to see a certain Indian woman. She seems to suffer unfortunately from a psychological condition which can be likened to a form of paranoia. In other words, she imagines at times that someone in her vincinity is "irritating" or "annoying" her for no rational reason at all. She then complains if she can to an individual in authority (including the police who must be fed up with her!!). She seems to have a special dislike towards myself, and she has made some bizzare nonsensical comments to me in public, and can become hysterical. I must say I feel sorry for her, but what can I do? If she continues in this vein she could end up being sectioned. Ofcourse, the men in white coats may well have already been called in to cart her off to some place where she can be "treated". Unfortunately, I have crossed swords with her...and feel powerless to help her as she will not listen to reason...................................
16 Someone called "John"
Quite recently I was just infront of Greggs, and a man called "John" (who worked at a local superstore) suddenly started talking to me completely out of the blue. He was a total stranger, and was on about his experiences of seeing ghosts, witnessing poltergeist activity, and even claimed to have seen Herne the Hunter..several times. If it had been someone other than myself he might have been dismissed as mad on the spot!! The same thing happened to a friend of mine in McDonalds who like myself was interested in "spiritual" matters! "John" said "Hello!" to him and then suddenly jabbered on about ghosts...et al. Most odd..but at the same time fascinating.
17 I am a "God!"
One evening I went to my local Hindu Temple in Slough. I was sitting near the kitchen which was preparing free food, or langar for the devotees who were in the other Hall. All of a sudden an Indian woman appears near me, and starts bowing before me, and makes other kinds of "appropriate" obeissance"...to me....as....if I was some kind of God. Most embarrassing.....I was tempted to laugh out loud..it was so odd...!! Thankfully I did not, and said nothing...
18 Two Characters!
When I do my weekly trips to the Gurdwara I see two Sikh friends who usually appear. One of them is the Mumbler so-called by the fact that he continously mumbles under his breath, and often seems unable to communicate properly. I feel sorry for him, and I have tried to help him but in vain. Aparently, he suffers from "hearing voices" which for some reason or other has upset his "speech" if one call it as that. His friend the Fantasist is very easy going, and chummy and can speak properly. He talks about his "business interests" which at times seem unbelievable. Hence, the word Fantasist.
19 An Anatomy Text Book
Around 1970 or so I was in Henley-on -Thames with mater, and I bought a second-hand text book on anatomy for would be artists. It was dated 1917 if I recall correctly! It had a number of black and white plates of models doing Ancient Greek nude classical poises. What was amusing was that the private parts of both male, and females were "photographically smudged over" in order to not cause offence!!
20 Meeting Nelu..
Sometime ago I met a homeless man called Nelu who claimed that he campaigned with his cardboard placard on corruption in his own country Romania. Unfortunately, this lead to prison (possibly on one than more occasion) and even torture...!! He later fled Romania, and seeked asylum in Britain. He also "appeared" in the local newspaper along with other homeless people. https://www.sloughexpress.co.uk/gallery/slough/134160/homeless-people-camping-outside-church-given-notice-to-vacate.html
21 A Shock!
In Slough High Street I sometimes met, and talked with someone called Nigel. He seemed pleasant enough a person. A few months later I went into Tescos, and saw a large image of his face on the front cover of the local rag. I could not believe it. It transpired that he had gone to prison for sexually molesting young girls. In other words, paedophilia.................................
22 Indecent Assault
One person I knew unfortunately was someone who claimed to have committed an indecent assault on some poor woman just outside Serena Hall. He may have done something similiar to two others just before attacking her. He claimed he was drunk at the time. But what angered me most was that he seemed to regard it all as being some big joke. He even seemed to brag about it, and would laugh! He had a fixation on the woman just mentioned (who worked at Serena Hall, but has since moved away from Slough) whom he indecently assaulted. Understandably she had a restraining order against him which he may have attempted to "breach" on certain occasions. He was also quite intelligent, and had published some poetry......bizarre...!!
23 Tea Tree Oil...
I used to utilize a liquid soap which had Tea Tree Oil in it. After awhile I noticed that it created a rash of sorts, and caused tiny bits of skin to peel off. This I first noticed when I put some of it on my face...which looked reddish for awhile. It also affected my private area....which was most embarrassing. It was clear that I was allergic to Tea Tree Oil. Trust me to have this bodily reaction to it.
24 An Indian Actress
Odd as it may seem we had an indian actress in Slough who was in a parlous situation...She had done some Bollywood work, and had appeared on the television. I cannot recall her name, but I met her, and talked with her on several occasions. Often, she had a "tiny" dog with her plus a minder to keep an eye on her. She seemed to be well-educated.
25 An Unfortunate Death...
Back in around 2006 I was doing face sketches of homeless people in Serena Hall. One person who is now deceased had a girl friend who died in "suspicious" circumstances. I even did a pic of him with his strange misshaped nose. He claimed that the police had suspected him of murder, but it was later found that she had probably taken a drug overdose, and hence, died...
26 An "Idiot" Savant....
In Slough I once briefly knew someone who was regarded as a gifted savant. He was gay, and he was regarded as a calendar, or calendrical savant (if I recall correctly). In other words, he could tell you the exact day of some date in the past, and be proved right!! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savant_syndrome
27 A Nuisance
An unfortunate aspect of Slough is that people can on occasion in the High Street ask for money. One Jaimacan does just that....but he uses "charm" to do it...by first smiling, and shaking hands of strangers to "soften them up" and then asks them for a few bob. The cheek of it...!!
28 Helping a Black Friend...
There used to be a black man who seemed to be continuously drunk, and his speech was often slurred, and incomprehensible. He seemed to many like a "complete idiot"....but the contrary was true. He was a pilot, and I saw his various certificates, and other documents which confirmed this to my astonishment. The story goes that he returned home from work to discover his wife having sex with someone he knew. This had a devastating a ffect on him, and caused him to turn to the bottle, and homelessness...
.....When in his drunken stupor he would quite often collapse onto the pavement, and I would have to on occasion try to lift him up...but he was extremely heavy as he was very muscular which added great weight to his otherwise "slim" form. Fortunately, he was taken away from Slough, and stayed with his relations in Antigua where he fully recovered. If he had stayed in the UK any longer he would have probably ended up dead.....
29 An Odd Surprise
A long time ago I was doing some direct selling door to door in Slough. At one house a man appeared with a snake around his neck. I also saw other snakes in cages behind him. I pretended not to be surprised, and acted as if everything was perfectly normal...!!
30 An Unwanted "Friend".
In Chalvey as I was walking home when some Polish man tried to befriend me. He said he was homeless, and wanted to stay in my flat. I did not really know him from Adam, and ofcourse, I refused. He continued to follow me as he was obviously very determined. So I went to the betting shop and asked the manager to call the police. My "friend" then vanished. On the following day, I received an info sheet from the police through my flat's door warning people not to allow "unknown" people into their flats as they have the habit of robbing you in the night when you were asleep, or out!!
31 Cuckooing
One morning I received another info sheet from the police, and was surprised by its content. It was concerned with what was termed Cuckooing. Apparently, it transpired that some people "manufacturing" and dealing in drugs would try to befriend a resident, or residents in a flat in return for them to start a temporary drug "factory." or indeed, act as point of call for drug dealers...etc Depending on the situation the resident would receive some payments from them for allowing access to their property.....Needless to say, I never if at all possible have anything to do with people like this or indeed, if and where possible with any of those residents in the other flats where I live...I keep myself to myself..best policy...
32 Meeting an Academic Philosopher in Egham
A long time ago I recall meeting an academic specialising in philosophy called David in a pub in Egham. He started talking to me about his work. I found him intensely dry, and dull. He was a classic example of a small minded academic. It was quite "disturbing". He even showed me some of his scholarly books he had written on Western Philosophy. I asked him whether he heard of psychical research, or parapsychology. He said he had never heard of the subject. I was shocked by this..especially someone who was supposed to be a philsopher..alebeit a paid one (he worked at a university, or so he claimed). I tried to explain to him about this matter and why it had great philosophical implications. Yet, he seemed to be clearly out of his depth when I discussed things like near death experiences, religious experiences, ghosts, telepathy, et al. He seemed unable to understand what I was saying. This seemed so bizarre for someone who was supposed to be intelligent, and a "philosopher" to boot!
However, he mentioned about Albert Camus the famed writer, and existentialist who believed that life was essentially meaningless. I told my academic philosopher the claim that he did not die naturally in a car crash...but he had committed suicide to "prove" that life was totally pointless! He hit the roof when I said this..and insisted it was false, and also mentioned that he had seen Camus just before he passed on!
33 Sad....
I remember once seeing a very elderly white haired lady who was distinctly hunch-backed with a shopping trolley pilled high with the romance books of Mills and Boon!! It was sad in the sense that she was still looking for love...and yet her beauty had all gone..!
34 The Phantom Mourner..!
By chance I came across an article on a woman in her sixties who I had met many times...She often rode around on her bike, and I was surprised to see that she had been in the national press! It appears that she is the "Phantom Mourner" always turning up at funerals... just for the free lunch! She has done the same in the Sikh Temples presumably on non-funeral days..as they give langar, or free meals on a daily basis for the worshippers. She is called Theresa, and I recall once having a lavish meal with her at the splendid Copthorne Hotel very near to where I live in Chalvey, Slough. Like her I was there attending a public consultation on housing in the area. Ofcourse, the meal was free!! Incidently, there was a competition in which I won a free Amazon tablet! I had never used one before and I was impressed. See the following press article in connection with Theresa.
35 The Identical Twins...
I remember seeing in Slough two short female twins who looked far younger than they acutally were. One of them who talked me claimed that they were not 12 years old but around 28 years old instead. This was difficult to believe, but she claimed that she, and her twin sister had a birth certificate to prove it. All the same this though could cause a problem especially if they went out with men who would ofcourse look older than them....!! The cries of paedo might ring the air! "Dangerous" twins!
36 The Ex-Military Man...
A long time ago myself and my parents visited a property belonging to a former Colonel in her Majesty's forces. He had a black patch over one eye which added a degree of "credibility" for his "valiant" past. However, it transpired that his injury was due a round of golf!
37 A Cook...
When I used to go the old Serena Hall in Slough for the homeless I remember that there was one young woman who was often merry, and matey with the male "clients". She was the cook, and one thing thing that made me cringe was her loud dirty female laugh...a near exact version of Sid James's one..! Though she was rather worldly I was very surprised to discover that she had some psychic awareness, and claimed that she sometimes saw dead people! Sadly, she died in her early fifties but I always liked her...inspite of that loud dirty laugh which mercifully was a rather rare occurence...!
38 What a Noise!!?
I once allowed a homeless Polish man spend the night at in my flat. It was a big mistake. As he was sleeping he started to snore....and snore...and snore.......!! The very sound of it was loud..and the whole room seem to "shake!!" Unforgetable!!
39 A Public Bleeding....
A long time ago I was in a cafe, and I saw a woman who was sitting nearby and noticed blood creeping down her legs. I looked at he face and it was quite obvious she was not right in the head. She seemed to be blissfully unware that her menstrual bleeding could cause public offence. Bizarre. I pretended not to notice it...but it was there for all to see...!!
40 Hyde Park
Back in the 1980s I would sometimes go and visit Speaker's Corner at Hyde Park. This was a nexus for all sorts of odd ball people (and hence ideal for me.....!!) usually giving speeches on a variety of topics. One regular there was a Sufi who had an unusual turban, and was normally seated on the grass. He would do Muslim chants at times, and claimed to have a large interesting library on esoteric subjects. I cannot recall his name unfortunately. He also gave me a special Sufi "mantra" to recite. Apart from him there was often or not another chap giving out leaflets about the ideas of Benjamin Creme who believed in the re-appearance of the Maitreya Those were the days..!
41 One Armed Dennis!
One person who I used to know in Slough was a homeless person known as one armed Dennis. He had a hook instead of a hand.He had a "side kick" whose name I fail to recall, and who regarded himself as "a smash and grab man!" Dennis like many on the road tended to drink alot, and as such could become aggressive. However, in his more sober state we had the odd chat. He also admired my instant face sketches of people, but sadly I never got around to doing a pic of him which was something he wanted.
42 Bringing Bad Tidings...
It is not everyday this happens...hence, its inclusion. When I was in the homeless hostel known as Look Ahead I met two police officers who were visiting. They informed me that my flat "mate" Chris's mother had died in Australia. I later informed him about it when he returned from some "job" or other. Also, I remember Chris telling me that he once found his sister hanging in the garage. In other words, a tragic suicide which was prompted by a love affair that had gone around. I think she was just 16 or so at the time! What a waste of a young life....
Some of the "tales" here in brief are banal, comical, and in many cases odd to say the least! Please note I cannot always vouch for the accuracy of some of the things said here but they may be of interest..R Searle
1 The Human Chicken?
On occasions I used to see in Slough a man making clucking sounds like a chicken! When he tried to engage people in talk he spoke nonsense.
2 Bible Mania
Once I used to know a Bible basher. He believed in every word in the Bible. In other words, he was a literalist. I used to call him Old Nick (an old expression meaning the devil, and Nick short for Nicholas which was his real name), and he was able to see the funny side of that. However, he became too much, and our friendship soon ended.
3 A Tragic Chap
There was a chap who lived near me in a special home. We will simply call him M. He had what appeared to be a severe form of autism, and would repeat himself again, and again. His life was tragically marred because just over three decades ago his mother killed his father when he was young. He would often ask me, and other people this very sad question "Where is the past? Has it gone?" I would try, and reassure him that the past is the past, and indicated that his tragic early experience would not re-occur.
4 The TV
In Slough there was a TV or Transvestite. When I talked to him he seemed to be very bright, and claimed that he used to have a very responsible job (apparently an air traffic controller!). I was informed by someone that the female clothes he wore actually belonged to his deceased wife...which was very sad to hear if true.
5 To Do a Trotsky
At Serena Hall I used to know someone who had a hatred towards Polish people living in Slough. He threatened them at times with violence, and was even attacked on the rare occasion. He was reported to the police on numerous occasions . He even threatened to do a Trotsky on Polish people. I tried vainly to change him..and sometimes I even teased him! For instance, he said he was going to work as a volunteer in the Gardens of Remembrance in Stoke Poges. I smiled and asked him what existed opposite. He did not know, and then I said the Polish Club of Slough. He laughed at this as he did to similiar jokes of this kind. He seemed to see the stupid and silly side of his racism but sadly he did not change. Recently though, I saw him again after many years and there was no mention of the Polish people..thank God for that!
6 The Spitters
I once became a regular victim of two children who spat at my face!! This also happened to my friend Chris. It was a disgusting thing to do to anyone. At one point, I even nearly caught one of the children...but after that the whole "phenomenon" simply stopped thankfully.
7 The Bicycle Thief
Sometimes in Slough I would see D who had a mental age of a 11 year old. On occasion he had a large pair of metal cutters...he was a bicycle thief by trade! Apparently, he built up a large collection of bikes in his back garden which ofcourse attracted interest from the police...!
8 Farting Sounds........
I recall a woman who used to sit in the library or wherever, and make fart-like sounds with her mouth. This seemed to be some kind of psychological compulsion. Someone suggested that it might be a manifestation of Tourette's Syndrome.
9 Attempted Murder...
I used to go to a café opposite the old Slough Library. Sometimes a known prostitute would enter, and tried to engage me in talk. I warned her that she was dotty to walk the streets at night as she would be vulnerable to assault. Tragically I was right. She nearly died infact..in an attempted murder. Her sister (a decent woman) told me her jaw had been turned to one side, and was replaced with a new one! Horrific! She also had nightmares of the assault..Yet, in spite of all this she returned to "the game".... to help fund her drug habit ofcourse..madness...
10 Three Exposures!
One night near Serena Hall a woman undid her long coat, and exposed herself! I could not believe it..! I also recognized her, and noted a can of alcohol was sticking out of her pocket. She left little to the imagination, and I said to her that she need not do this as she could get any man she liked as she was very attractive woman. This pleased her, and she buttoned herself up..
Once in Serena Hall there was a large black lady seated with a load of men around her. As she crossed her legs she revealed her private area, and if I recall correctly she did it again. However, someone in the room an Italian said that she should keep her dress down, and it transpired that she wanted to find a man. What a weird way of doing things!! It takes all sorts to make a world...!
Whilst selling charity tickets door to door at Cookham I was talking to a potential "customer" at her big mansion, and for some reason I could hear and see some young girls in a crowd behind me at the end of the drive. Then I saw three of them expose their bosoms for all and sundry! The cheek and audacity of it all. I could not believe it. My "cusstomer" just smiled and called them exhibitionists!
11 Instant Identification...
When I was living in King Edward's Street in Slough I had a surprise of sorts! Just as I was leaving digs I noted a Policeman coming up the pavement. He said "Hello, Robert!!" I could not understand this, but it transpired that he had known me back at the old Royal Free School on Bachelor's Acre, Windsor. This was over twenty years ago, or so. I could not recall him at all until a little later. I did not really know him well when I was at school...but there we are. He clearly had a good memory for a policeman, and good luck with his career. Admitedly, I did see him again on a few other occasions whilst in Windsor, but I think he may have moved out of the area altogether.
12 Extorsion..
On rare occasions, people of Irish origin would say that they had done some work for me at such, and such an address. I said this was totally false, and I did not know them from Adam. However, the penny dropped as to what this really was all about in Chalvey. A man in a big van stopped by me walking on the pavement, and said rather loudly that he had worked at my address.....and that I owed him money, and repeated his claim...Then, he started to get aggressive. This was a frightful situation, but I stood my ground, and insisted that he was lying. In other words, he was trying to extort money from me under false pretences, and was hoping I would cave in and pay him off for nothing..........I presume such extorsion has worked in some rare case especially with older people...but what an audacious crime !!
13 An Unpleasant Surprise...
Quite a while ago I entered the mall in Slough, and saw someone I knew slowly climbing up the steps. I smiled in recognition..and suddenly, realized that he was looking at me in a negative fashion for no obvious reason. He then said to me.."I do not know you..!" This took me aback, and then, it suddenly occurred to me. He had a stroke. He seemed different from the person I used to know. I tested his memory in a number of ways, and my suspicions were confirmed. I explained to him that he had a stroke, and should seek medical attention. He died a few days later in Chalvey. Apparently, the official cause was not a stroke but exposure due to cold weather.
14 A Tug of War!
One very hot summer afternoon I was resting my gluteus maximus on a public seat nearly opposite Slough police station. A rather thin woman (due to illegal drug intake) joined me, and started to chat with me. I recognized her as a prostitute who used to go to the old Serena Hall, or day centre for vulnerable, and homeless people. She was trying to come onto me by touching me, but I resisted her advances as I was not interested. Realizing this, she suddenly made a grab for my large shoulder bag thinking that there must be some money in it, and possibly other "valuable" items. I tried to get it off her, and I had one strap to the bag, and she the other. What followed was a "comical" tug of war along the pavement, and across the street. I shouted to her that it was my bag and not hers. She insisted it was hers! Things came to ahead when I managed to flag down a policeman, and he searched inside the bag, and agreed that it was my bag. Yet, she kept on claiming it was hers...until she gave up!! Slough is full of it!
15 A "Crazy" Indian Woman
On occasion in the library I see, or rather try not to see a certain Indian woman. She seems to suffer unfortunately from a psychological condition which can be likened to a form of paranoia. In other words, she imagines at times that someone in her vincinity is "irritating" or "annoying" her for no rational reason at all. She then complains if she can to an individual in authority (including the police who must be fed up with her!!). She seems to have a special dislike towards myself, and she has made some bizzare nonsensical comments to me in public, and can become hysterical. I must say I feel sorry for her, but what can I do? If she continues in this vein she could end up being sectioned. Ofcourse, the men in white coats may well have already been called in to cart her off to some place where she can be "treated". Unfortunately, I have crossed swords with her...and feel powerless to help her as she will not listen to reason...................................
16 Someone called "John"
Quite recently I was just infront of Greggs, and a man called "John" (who worked at a local superstore) suddenly started talking to me completely out of the blue. He was a total stranger, and was on about his experiences of seeing ghosts, witnessing poltergeist activity, and even claimed to have seen Herne the Hunter..several times. If it had been someone other than myself he might have been dismissed as mad on the spot!! The same thing happened to a friend of mine in McDonalds who like myself was interested in "spiritual" matters! "John" said "Hello!" to him and then suddenly jabbered on about ghosts...et al. Most odd..but at the same time fascinating.
17 I am a "God!"
One evening I went to my local Hindu Temple in Slough. I was sitting near the kitchen which was preparing free food, or langar for the devotees who were in the other Hall. All of a sudden an Indian woman appears near me, and starts bowing before me, and makes other kinds of "appropriate" obeissance"...to me....as....if I was some kind of God. Most embarrassing.....I was tempted to laugh out loud..it was so odd...!! Thankfully I did not, and said nothing...
18 Two Characters!
When I do my weekly trips to the Gurdwara I see two Sikh friends who usually appear. One of them is the Mumbler so-called by the fact that he continously mumbles under his breath, and often seems unable to communicate properly. I feel sorry for him, and I have tried to help him but in vain. Aparently, he suffers from "hearing voices" which for some reason or other has upset his "speech" if one call it as that. His friend the Fantasist is very easy going, and chummy and can speak properly. He talks about his "business interests" which at times seem unbelievable. Hence, the word Fantasist.
19 An Anatomy Text Book
Around 1970 or so I was in Henley-on -Thames with mater, and I bought a second-hand text book on anatomy for would be artists. It was dated 1917 if I recall correctly! It had a number of black and white plates of models doing Ancient Greek nude classical poises. What was amusing was that the private parts of both male, and females were "photographically smudged over" in order to not cause offence!!
20 Meeting Nelu..
Sometime ago I met a homeless man called Nelu who claimed that he campaigned with his cardboard placard on corruption in his own country Romania. Unfortunately, this lead to prison (possibly on one than more occasion) and even torture...!! He later fled Romania, and seeked asylum in Britain. He also "appeared" in the local newspaper along with other homeless people. https://www.sloughexpress.co.uk/gallery/slough/134160/homeless-people-camping-outside-church-given-notice-to-vacate.html
21 A Shock!
In Slough High Street I sometimes met, and talked with someone called Nigel. He seemed pleasant enough a person. A few months later I went into Tescos, and saw a large image of his face on the front cover of the local rag. I could not believe it. It transpired that he had gone to prison for sexually molesting young girls. In other words, paedophilia.................................
22 Indecent Assault
One person I knew unfortunately was someone who claimed to have committed an indecent assault on some poor woman just outside Serena Hall. He may have done something similiar to two others just before attacking her. He claimed he was drunk at the time. But what angered me most was that he seemed to regard it all as being some big joke. He even seemed to brag about it, and would laugh! He had a fixation on the woman just mentioned (who worked at Serena Hall, but has since moved away from Slough) whom he indecently assaulted. Understandably she had a restraining order against him which he may have attempted to "breach" on certain occasions. He was also quite intelligent, and had published some poetry......bizarre...!!
23 Tea Tree Oil...
I used to utilize a liquid soap which had Tea Tree Oil in it. After awhile I noticed that it created a rash of sorts, and caused tiny bits of skin to peel off. This I first noticed when I put some of it on my face...which looked reddish for awhile. It also affected my private area....which was most embarrassing. It was clear that I was allergic to Tea Tree Oil. Trust me to have this bodily reaction to it.
24 An Indian Actress
Odd as it may seem we had an indian actress in Slough who was in a parlous situation...She had done some Bollywood work, and had appeared on the television. I cannot recall her name, but I met her, and talked with her on several occasions. Often, she had a "tiny" dog with her plus a minder to keep an eye on her. She seemed to be well-educated.
25 An Unfortunate Death...
Back in around 2006 I was doing face sketches of homeless people in Serena Hall. One person who is now deceased had a girl friend who died in "suspicious" circumstances. I even did a pic of him with his strange misshaped nose. He claimed that the police had suspected him of murder, but it was later found that she had probably taken a drug overdose, and hence, died...
26 An "Idiot" Savant....
In Slough I once briefly knew someone who was regarded as a gifted savant. He was gay, and he was regarded as a calendar, or calendrical savant (if I recall correctly). In other words, he could tell you the exact day of some date in the past, and be proved right!! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savant_syndrome
27 A Nuisance
An unfortunate aspect of Slough is that people can on occasion in the High Street ask for money. One Jaimacan does just that....but he uses "charm" to do it...by first smiling, and shaking hands of strangers to "soften them up" and then asks them for a few bob. The cheek of it...!!
28 Helping a Black Friend...
There used to be a black man who seemed to be continuously drunk, and his speech was often slurred, and incomprehensible. He seemed to many like a "complete idiot"....but the contrary was true. He was a pilot, and I saw his various certificates, and other documents which confirmed this to my astonishment. The story goes that he returned home from work to discover his wife having sex with someone he knew. This had a devastating a ffect on him, and caused him to turn to the bottle, and homelessness...
.....When in his drunken stupor he would quite often collapse onto the pavement, and I would have to on occasion try to lift him up...but he was extremely heavy as he was very muscular which added great weight to his otherwise "slim" form. Fortunately, he was taken away from Slough, and stayed with his relations in Antigua where he fully recovered. If he had stayed in the UK any longer he would have probably ended up dead.....
* Sadly, since this entry was published his father told me that he had died.
29 An Odd Surprise
A long time ago I was doing some direct selling door to door in Slough. At one house a man appeared with a snake around his neck. I also saw other snakes in cages behind him. I pretended not to be surprised, and acted as if everything was perfectly normal...!!
30 An Unwanted "Friend".
In Chalvey as I was walking home when some Polish man tried to befriend me. He said he was homeless, and wanted to stay in my flat. I did not really know him from Adam, and ofcourse, I refused. He continued to follow me as he was obviously very determined. So I went to the betting shop and asked the manager to call the police. My "friend" then vanished. On the following day, I received an info sheet from the police through my flat's door warning people not to allow "unknown" people into their flats as they have the habit of robbing you in the night when you were asleep, or out!!
31 Cuckooing
One morning I received another info sheet from the police, and was surprised by its content. It was concerned with what was termed Cuckooing. Apparently, it transpired that some people "manufacturing" and dealing in drugs would try to befriend a resident, or residents in a flat in return for them to start a temporary drug "factory." or indeed, act as point of call for drug dealers...etc Depending on the situation the resident would receive some payments from them for allowing access to their property.....Needless to say, I never if at all possible have anything to do with people like this or indeed, if and where possible with any of those residents in the other flats where I live...I keep myself to myself..best policy...
32 Meeting an Academic Philosopher in Egham
A long time ago I recall meeting an academic specialising in philosophy called David in a pub in Egham. He started talking to me about his work. I found him intensely dry, and dull. He was a classic example of a small minded academic. It was quite "disturbing". He even showed me some of his scholarly books he had written on Western Philosophy. I asked him whether he heard of psychical research, or parapsychology. He said he had never heard of the subject. I was shocked by this..especially someone who was supposed to be a philsopher..alebeit a paid one (he worked at a university, or so he claimed). I tried to explain to him about this matter and why it had great philosophical implications. Yet, he seemed to be clearly out of his depth when I discussed things like near death experiences, religious experiences, ghosts, telepathy, et al. He seemed unable to understand what I was saying. This seemed so bizarre for someone who was supposed to be intelligent, and a "philosopher" to boot!
However, he mentioned about Albert Camus the famed writer, and existentialist who believed that life was essentially meaningless. I told my academic philosopher the claim that he did not die naturally in a car crash...but he had committed suicide to "prove" that life was totally pointless! He hit the roof when I said this..and insisted it was false, and also mentioned that he had seen Camus just before he passed on!
33 Sad....
I remember once seeing a very elderly white haired lady who was distinctly hunch-backed with a shopping trolley pilled high with the romance books of Mills and Boon!! It was sad in the sense that she was still looking for love...and yet her beauty had all gone..!
34 The Phantom Mourner..!
By chance I came across an article on a woman in her sixties who I had met many times...She often rode around on her bike, and I was surprised to see that she had been in the national press! It appears that she is the "Phantom Mourner" always turning up at funerals... just for the free lunch! She has done the same in the Sikh Temples presumably on non-funeral days..as they give langar, or free meals on a daily basis for the worshippers. She is called Theresa, and I recall once having a lavish meal with her at the splendid Copthorne Hotel very near to where I live in Chalvey, Slough. Like her I was there attending a public consultation on housing in the area. Ofcourse, the meal was free!! Incidently, there was a competition in which I won a free Amazon tablet! I had never used one before and I was impressed. See the following press article in connection with Theresa.
35 The Identical Twins...
I remember seeing in Slough two short female twins who looked far younger than they acutally were. One of them who talked me claimed that they were not 12 years old but around 28 years old instead. This was difficult to believe, but she claimed that she, and her twin sister had a birth certificate to prove it. All the same this though could cause a problem especially if they went out with men who would ofcourse look older than them....!! The cries of paedo might ring the air! "Dangerous" twins!
36 The Ex-Military Man...
A long time ago myself and my parents visited a property belonging to a former Colonel in her Majesty's forces. He had a black patch over one eye which added a degree of "credibility" for his "valiant" past. However, it transpired that his injury was due a round of golf!
37 A Cook...
When I used to go the old Serena Hall in Slough for the homeless I remember that there was one young woman who was often merry, and matey with the male "clients". She was the cook, and one thing thing that made me cringe was her loud dirty female laugh...a near exact version of Sid James's one..! Though she was rather worldly I was very surprised to discover that she had some psychic awareness, and claimed that she sometimes saw dead people! Sadly, she died in her early fifties but I always liked her...inspite of that loud dirty laugh which mercifully was a rather rare occurence...!
38 What a Noise!!?
I once allowed a homeless Polish man spend the night at in my flat. It was a big mistake. As he was sleeping he started to snore....and snore...and snore.......!! The very sound of it was loud..and the whole room seem to "shake!!" Unforgetable!!
39 A Public Bleeding....
A long time ago I was in a cafe, and I saw a woman who was sitting nearby and noticed blood creeping down her legs. I looked at he face and it was quite obvious she was not right in the head. She seemed to be blissfully unware that her menstrual bleeding could cause public offence. Bizarre. I pretended not to notice it...but it was there for all to see...!!
40 Hyde Park
Back in the 1980s I would sometimes go and visit Speaker's Corner at Hyde Park. This was a nexus for all sorts of odd ball people (and hence ideal for me.....!!) usually giving speeches on a variety of topics. One regular there was a Sufi who had an unusual turban, and was normally seated on the grass. He would do Muslim chants at times, and claimed to have a large interesting library on esoteric subjects. I cannot recall his name unfortunately. He also gave me a special Sufi "mantra" to recite. Apart from him there was often or not another chap giving out leaflets about the ideas of Benjamin Creme who believed in the re-appearance of the Maitreya Those were the days..!
41 One Armed Dennis!
One person who I used to know in Slough was a homeless person known as one armed Dennis. He had a hook instead of a hand.He had a "side kick" whose name I fail to recall, and who regarded himself as "a smash and grab man!" Dennis like many on the road tended to drink alot, and as such could become aggressive. However, in his more sober state we had the odd chat. He also admired my instant face sketches of people, but sadly I never got around to doing a pic of him which was something he wanted.
42 Bringing Bad Tidings...
It is not everyday this happens...hence, its inclusion. When I was in the homeless hostel known as Look Ahead I met two police officers who were visiting. They informed me that my flat "mate" Chris's mother had died in Australia. I later informed him about it when he returned from some "job" or other. Also, I remember Chris telling me that he once found his sister hanging in the garage. In other words, a tragic suicide which was prompted by a love affair that had gone around. I think she was just 16 or so at the time! What a waste of a young life....
43 A Lesbian Cat Fight!
A long time ago I was in Holyport near Maidenhead and I was on the village green and there was a fair if I recall correctly. Anyway, two Lesbian women were talking to each other, and one of them suddenly accused the other of having an affair. The latter denied this but the former was not convinced. Things got heated...and then there was a cat fight. One woman started to pull the hair of her "friend" or lover and there was some punching along with some scratching!! It was hilarious!!
44 Three Crazy Car Experiences!
I used to drive a car and on one occasion I was in Gerrards Cross . I was just leaving the area and suddenly discovered that my main brakes were suddenly not working. In effect, I was in a potentially dangerous situation and had to keep my nerve..which I did. Admitedly, I went down the steep hill leading out of Gerrards Cross...without pressing the gas..or proper braking power..but managed to get back home without any incident! Ofcourse, this was illegal and perhaps I should have stopped and called for technical help. But I risked it and returned to my former home in Stoke Poges!!
Another car experience was when I was trying to take an elderly friend to Oxford and I realized that I had very little fuel. When I reached a certain motorway I travelled very fast indeed...beyond the legal speed limit!!! But like the above paragraph I did manage to get myself and my friend safely to our destination.
Once in Langley a part of Slough I entered a place for dumping waste material which was also used by resident gypsies in "makeshift" housing.. As soon as I entered my vehicle was suddenly pelted by stones thrown from different directions. Fortunately all my windows were up. So I quickly reversed out of the place....as to why this happened is unknown.
PS. In Debworth, Windsor, I was on a bus at night and as it turned at a certain part of a road there was a sudden loud "volley" of stones thrown at it by rowdy youths. It was quite frightening!
45 Long Memories.............
I have lived in Slough for over 30 years..and some people whom I have met on odd occasions seem to have noticed this and have come up to me to tell me that along with small talk. It is really strange that I had little or zero communication with them in the intervening years...and yet, they seem to have realized that I am "still around"....well, at least I am "still around" when I typed this...! But no one is here forever.
46 A Turbaned Terrorist!
Among the young there is quite a bit of ignorance about many matters. I recall once using a public computer at that library (that was) in Chalvey, Slough. A young lad saw a photo of an Indian on my screen, and called him a terrorist out of the blue!! I was shocked and told him off and that the pic was of someone called Sant Harjit Singh a highly respected mystic. He seemed to regard his turban as being an instant indicator of someone who was up to no real good...totally absurd. I said to the ignoramus that he was a Sikh and they are usually good, decent ,and respectable people in our multi-cultural society.
47 A Racist Joke!
I recall once sitting outside of Sainsbury in Slough, and a man came upto me and made a joke...of sorts! He said that a mother and her young son were in the car, and the latter asked "Are we going to Slough again or are we going to England!!?" Amusing to a point..but not politcally correctly and understandably so! Personally, I know alot of Asians in Slough and we get on alright....
48 An Obscene Video
I used to know a black girl called Francis and on one occasion she started talking to me about a pornographic video she had seen. In it she described in graphic detail of a woman (who seemed to be suffering from "full-blown AIDs) having sex with a dog! Francis left little to the imagination....and repeated her description again with the same detail she had said before. Very odd indeed, and I never thought that a "lady" could come up with something as revolting as this...It was strange and surreal..
49 The Safe!!
Sometime ago I was in the High Street, Slough, and I saw a huge safe on its side lying on the pavement. I could not believe it. A police woman was "guarding" it! On the other side of the street I saw a shop from whence it came. However, for legal reasons I cannot disclose the name of it.
50 The Fake Meter Reader
As I just left the flats where I lived and a young Asian guy appeared in front of me and asked whether I would like my electric meter reader to be altered in such a way as to make the cost of electricity alot less expensive. I knew instantly that something was wrong as he was guilty as hell...that is how he came across. Ofcourse, he said there would be a fee and I refused his offer. A day or so later I saw in the local rag that someone was going around doing ust.that...probably the same person or some other and ofcourse, it was exposed for what it was..an illegal scam.
51 Baby in the Back Seat.
For some reason or other I seem to recall this. It must have happened in 1961 or 2. It happened in Slough and I was in the backseat in a special child's "chair" which restrained movement of my little body. Apparently, pater had stopped the car and got out of it and was having a furious argument with someone from the car driver infront of him... both then saw me "helpless" in the back seat watching...and decided not come to blows.
52 A Shooter!!
I was in a pub in Slough called The Printer's Devil and a man confronted me and said he wanted me to leave. He said he had a shooter. He claimed that the place we were in was a "centre" for criminals to congregate. He then said if I would not leave he would use his shooter on me. I decided to wisely live!
53 Long Hair
I once knew someone who wore a Sikh turban in 1980. When I was let into his house I saw the back of him seated in the living room. He had his turban off, and I was astounded to see his long hair reached the ground and his two young daughters calmly and dutifully combing it!
54 Criminal Irish "Employers!"
When I was at Shoc the homeless charity I would give a dirty look and even utter the odd threat when certain Irish people would try to recruit desparate people for work. They would then be exploited for little if anything for whatever job they did and kept in very bad conditions as their "housing". In other words, they would become virtually slave labourers. One Irish "employer" even tried to recruit me to get me to do work for him and as he was just leaving in his big expensive car I gave him the two fingered "salute"!
55 The Cheap and the Nasty "Brigade".
A Spanish "friend" claimed certain charities in Slough were involved in fraud. I did not believe it and I challenged him to give any credible evidence to support his claims. He said that there was evidence..but would not say more!! Indeed, I asked him again and again but instead he would not say anything more and got increasingly angry and then I just went away.
There is in this world what I called the cheap and nasty "brigade." They are the sort of characters that torment people on Twitter, and other soical media sites writing libellous comments just for the sheer joy of it..and often or not such claims have no foundation. In other words, trolling to use the "correct"
term!
56 Lady Penelopes Rolls Royce
For some reason I seem to remember dancing around inside the narrow side spaces of a garage where a life size replica of Lady Penelope's Roll Royce. In reality it did exist and was used to promote Thunderbirds the famous puppet show made on the Slough trading estate. I was gleeful that I had such a discovery because like many others I was fascinated with the tv show!! How I got in the garage remains a mystery though. Lady Penelope's Rolls Royce
57. The Batmobile Car
I saw by by chance in Slough the original Batman car used in the 1960s. I was quite taken aback, and I was also an adult but in the past I liked the American show. I discovered somebody in the area had the actual vehicle. Batmobile Car
58. A Rampant Organ.
When I was staying in at Look Ahead homeless hostel Chris my flat mate was the in kitchen just infront of the kitchen sink. He was wearing a nightgown open and as result his private organ could be seen. I pretended not to see it when I talked to him but it became somewhat distracting as it kept moving from side to side getting smaller, or bigger and at times more erect. It seemed to have a life ot its own! Chris seemed to be unaware of all this and regarded everything as normal until he realized my concern and then guessed the problem. He thus tied up his night gown!!
On one occasion, Chris was having a platonic relationship with a woman in London and he was staying at her home for the night. In the morning she went into the bathroom and found him starkers in the bath! Something like this happened when I was living in one of the properties of Look Ahead. A resident entered the bathroom to find Chris in the bath again and this turned on the "intruder" as he was gay! He then tried to get in the bath with Chris in it...and there was a bit of a "fight" as he pointed out that he was not gay!
59. A World War One Veteran!
In Stoke Poges I was doing someone's garden and in this instance I was starting to dig a large area. Then all of sudden an elderly man in his late 80s (probably) appeared. He was the house owner and the garden was his property I was legally on. He said that he was not impressed by my digging and showed me how to do it "properly"...and then remarked that as a young man he used to dig trenches in this manner when he was in a soldier during World War One..! Apparently, this involved a certain method and I adopted it as I was infact largely new to gardening and was just starting out.
60. Don't Tell the Wife?
I had two examples of the above when I used to garden for people. Once Sir Michael Shersby was trying to cut some branch and slipped off the ladder and onto the ground. He lay dazed there for a very short while and slowly got up and told me not to tell his wife Barbara..In another instance Mr Krolle an elderly business man in Gerrards Cross told me that he had "fainted" and collapsed behind some plants. He asked me not to inform his wife about it!
61. A Simple Technology.
In the 1960s and possibly the early 1970s there used to be a street map of Slough. It was on public display behind thick glass. At the bottom of it was a listing of street names along with a press button When a specific one was pressed a small light bulb would light up at the street searched for on the map! Simple...but effective technology from the past compared with our modern day mobile phones and the like.
62. Ah so...Chinese Food!
When I lived in King's Road in Windsor my pater would sometimes go to a shop which sold Chinese food. This was back in the early 1970s and this kind of "haute cuisine" was very new. Normally, we had sweet sour and pork and it was absolutely delicious. This was in my pre vegetarian days I hasten to add. Anyway, my pater whenever he went back to the shop he always checked to see whether the cat was still in the restaurant!!! The chinese do not appear to have a good record for animal welfare and have been known to eat anything "unusual" including dogs....and even cats!!
63. Langley "Assaults".
When I was homeless in 2005 I was in the memorial park in Langley which is a part of Slough. I was sitting on a public bench and sensed someone coming up from behind who then spilt some water on me. I believe he did it deliberately. I suspected he did it out of a dislike for me as a tramp at the time. Some people can be very cheap and nasty when "homeless" people are found regarding them as the lowest of the low. What happened next was alot worse. As I pretended to not notice him I felt a blow from a football at the back of my head. I looked around and saw him again. I was very angry and I decided to leave the park and go to the car park over the road. As soon as I got there I felt a second blow from a football!! But I could not see my attacker. I moved towards a few bushes on an incline which was nearby. Then I suddenly noticed someone. I could see his face and turban plus a football in his hand in the bushes. I shouted to him to come down and face me like a man! But he did nothing of the sort!
64. Meeting Again after 20 Years!
I met X a long while ago! We had an interesting chat about the esoteric. This was in Herschel Park Slough. He claimed that he used to try and open the chakras or psychic centres of the subtle body but his experience was not positive. He also mentioned having an experience in Herschel Park in which he felt the knowledge of the entire world was entering the top of his head (this may have been drug induced ofcourse). We also talked about monetary reform .Twenty years on he came up to me in the same park and remembered me talking to him about money. At first, I could not recall him. Then he said that I told him that governments can create new money out of thin air and as soon as he said this someone on a bike passing by shouted fiat money....a term used for the creation of new money!! Bizarre!
65. A Lady on a Doorstep
Not far fom where I live in Chalvey, Slough there is a woman who likes to sit outside on her doorstep...a very rare phenomenon! I have chatted to her in the past and she seems to be quite friendly. But the very idea of doing something like this is very old fashioned and can be considered working class!
66. Fake Coins?
When I was working for a charity selling tickets for children with cerebral palsy at the centre of the Lee Sykes Centre in Sunderland I became aware that the old pound coins I received were possibly fake. Much later on this was confirmed in an article in a newspaper. At the time though I had no choice but to accept them assuming that they were genuine. Each charity ticket cost two pounds each and were beautifully produced. My work on went from door to door but certain other vendors used to sell them in public places around the country such as high streets and public events like football matches. Over the years I had repeat sales from customers who knew me from my past dealings in the more wealthy areas of the country. Also, on two occasions I came across fake Lee Syke tickets which produced by some other "company" or "charity" and these were reported to the police.
67. The A4e Fiasco
A man in Slough who was riding an electric wheelchair came up to me. It transpired he was the key man who knew that A4e or Action for Employment was involved in fraudulent activity which lead onto a some arrests. When I was there I found it to be rather "amateurish" and suspected that something criminal was going on...and was proved right. . See link
68. Guilty as Hell!
I recall once playing "cricket" as a child and I accidently a girl behind with me as I swung a bat. She "temporarily" lost her sight, and I was greatly disturbed by it even though it was not deliberate! I felt guilty as hell..!
69. The Operatic Voice!
Whilst I was in McDonalds I saw a black man in a wheel chair who was a professional opera singer, and as soon as he opened his mouth (very briefly!) I could well believe it, and took me by surprise! I asked him if he knew of Shauna Turner who was (at times) a very large black lady who also knew the late author and poet Kieth Bosley and his wife who used to live in Slough. He said no. But like him I recall Shauna in a consort at a church and like him as soon as she opened her mouth you knew she was a professional opera singer! An amazing sound..!
70. God in Slough Library!
As I write this I hear a person talking to his phone claiming that I am God and have created everything in the universe et cetera. For whatever reasons he also gave reference to free love!! I suggest that he is probably a druggie...and seems to have an American accent..need I say more!?
71. An Indian Backscrather.......
Whilst I was in a Sikh gurdwara in Slough I saw in the section of the temple where the shoes were placed in wooden cubby holes..... an old Indian backscrather! I have not seen one of these before anywhere! I was taken aback. It also had tiny "ivory" representation of a human hand on it!
72. The "Original" Tossed Salad!!
Years and years ago my mater gave me her own version of a tossed salad! It was quite fantastic and unforgetable. It consisted simply of water and vinegar and slices of egg, tomato, onion, potato pieces, et cetera. It also contained a good "dosage" of sugar. At first, the very idea of eating vegatables in this manner was simply repulsive and I resisted having it...but when I tasted it I was very surprised indeed how good it was!
73. The Bed Creakers!!
For many years I used to live in rooms initially at Farnham Common, and then Slough. On very rare occasions, there would be a couple upstairs or downstairs having sex causing the double bed to creak quite loudly...and ofcourse the gasps and moans of pleasure from the woman could be heard quite distinctly! Very embarrassing for anyone unavoidably listening to this!
74. Absent Mindedness..
When I go to the local library for research and writing I sometimes forget things due to intense concentration with my work on the internet. Quite often I lost my phone...and yet, the staff though when found would keep it upstairs for me to collect! On two or more occasions I left my coat hanging from the chair and it was left overnight. On the following morning I would retrieve it!
75. The Royal Family
Someone informed me that there used to be an Asian who used to go around with a placard claiming that Royal Family wanted to bump him off ! Ofcourse, this was a delusional belief, and presumably was suffering somekind of madness.
76. A Pakistani's Request..and a Slice of Cake!
In 2008 I was living in Langley in a shared house connected with the homeless hostel call Look Ahead.
I met a Pakistani who wanted to pay me to read and edit a legal "document" he wished to have presented in Court. I declined the offer and said I was not interested. Over twelve or so years later he came up with the same kind of request. I delined again and I asked him why he wanted me to do it. He said I was "educated!!" Infact, I did not trust him, and I did not want to be associated with a "dodgy" legal document.........
.......Anyway, in Langley again circa 2008 I went to the communal fridge, and discovered much to my surprise my slice of cake had a half-moon of someone who had taken a bite out of it. It was rather funny!
77. The Bardess of Langley
In the Curve or Library in Slough I came across someone called Cecelia Grant-Peters. She was a black lady and I found her somewhat interesting. She also called herself the Bardess of Langley. In other words, she was a poet of some note as she claimed that she was a writer of many poems over many years. Langley itself is a part of Slough and she harked from the former place ofcourse..I mentioned my late old friend Keith Bosley who was also a poet among other things. She claimed that she had not heard of him before but then remembered his name for the first time a few days before meeting myself! I also notably mentioned that I used to belong to the writer's society in Slough and attended it during the 1980s. She remembered it in the 1970s and possibly possibly in the next decade ! She also liked Windsor and its famous castle not far from Langley. She clearly appeared to be a cultured lady with a lively mind.
78. "Suicidal" Driving...
My pater was a generally a mild-mannered man. He was always in the background and my mater was always the forceful character who seemed to dominate daily proceedings in every detail. Anyway, on very rare occasions my pater could get very angry. One disturbing thing which he did very rarely was when he was in the car with mater and when he and had a row with her about something he would press down on the car pedal causing the vehicle to suddenly accelerate dangerously at top speed. This for me as a child in the back seat was very frightening. It was a bizarre way of re-directing his anger away from my mater. This habit which he thankfully grew out of was possibly the result of living in London where he experienced as a young boy the siren and bomb sounds of the Blitz. This may well have disturbed his mind in a strange manner. For some reason his mater did not allow him to be evacuated o into the countryside where he would have been much safer. Maybe she was overly possessive.
Comments
Post a Comment