Thursday, 17 May 2018

Bedsitter Land

In 1990 I left the Orchard a big house in Park Road, Stoke Poges. I was also given by my parents the old large Renault Estate car which served me well...until an unfortunate accident occurred in Windsor. I was now for the first time in my life set "adrift" so to  speak as I  no longer lived in my parents' home (ie. the Orchard which had been sold as they moved to Oxford).

I managed to find a room...a very large one in Farnham Common. I was starting to set up work as a jobbing gardener. Later, I decided to find new digs in Slough which was in King Edward's Street in Chalvey in Slough. But I was not there long, and went elsewhere again very, very briefly as the following reveals...


I rang up a woman and was invited to see her room for rent in a certain part of Slough. This I did. She seemed very pleasant...and I accepted the room on the spot. I paid my deposit, and then, she sat on my bed, and told me she was in her forties, and  and wanted to marry me! This sudden proposal took me aback. I said to her that I did not know her. I only regarded her as my landlord, or rather landlady...The following day I left without any kind of physical contact of the "base" kind.

The Zimbabwean Girls

Soon after the above occurred I found a new room...a very small one, and very cheap. The property itself belonged to a Pakistani taxi-man. There was also a  Zimbabwean girl called Zara (not her real name ofcourse) who also rented a room. She was charming, and highly intelligent...a quality I find most attractive, and desirable in the female sex. Anyway, she intended to become a lawyer, and was studying at the time. She also had a black friend Tina.  This lady was also attractive, and by mistake I said she was a  black beauty!! I forgot this was the title of a famous book called Black Beauty (about a horse!) which she later discovered, and scolded me for...! Incidently, Zara was trying  to act as a match maker by trying to get me married to Tina. But this was not to be.

The Bahraini Family

For many months the house in which I lived in as a tenant was "invaded" by a large Bahraini family. I found them utterly charming, and got on very well with them. The head of family would sometimes dress in the traditional Arabic garb including the famous headdress. He was called Mohammad, and he was very rotund...He was staying in Britain because his son had to receive specialist treatment at Wexham Hospital for serious burns..These burns were the outcome of a serious accident with a barbecue in Bahrain.

Anyway, Mohammad was sitting with me watching the news on the television. His face frowned somewhat, and said he could not understand why the British government was being criticized so much. This remark took me unawares, and he explained that in Bahrain the authorities were treated with utmost respect. I explained to him that the UK believed in Free Speech, and that any criticism of the government was acceptable..within reason ofcourse.

Again whilst sitting with him I crossed my leg, and my heel was pointing towards him. He got annoyed by this, and then he explained why. He claimed that in the East it was regarded as rude, and offensive for anyone showing their heel to someone else. I apologized for my "transgression" which he readily accepted as he understood that I had known about it before.

Some of Mohammad's relatives who were staying with him in Slough (presumably trying to give moral support to his son)  could not speak English at all. Sometimes, I had to use sign language to try and communicate what I was saying. This on occasion could be quite comical as the following reveals. I tried to explain to someone the dangers of smoking. I pretended to smoke using my hand near my mouth "sporting" an invisible cigarette, and blowing out some of the "smoke". Then, I clutched my chest as if I was suffering a heart attack, and coughed, and coughed...and fell to the ground, and lied motionless as if "dead!" This "little act" was met with gails of laughter ofcourse. But the message was serious as I would not really tolerate any smoking in the house if possible.

Getting Married!?

One person I came across asked me if for £1000 I would marry someone whom I had not met, or seen before. The answer was an unequivocal no. It was ofcourse an attempt to get someone illegally into the UK...No way would I do such a thing.

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